Быть коучем для себя, глава 9

Последняя практическая глава, а потом останется только подведение итогов. Рассказывает она о фантастических отношениях, о том, где наше место в мире, кого мы выбираем в свое окружение, как эти люди влияют на наше настроение, взгляды на жизнь и счастье.

Раз уж мы дочитали книжку до этой главы, то должны хорошо знать, чего хотим от жизни и понимать, как этого добиться. Надо просто составить план действий, следовать ему, и все будет хорошо.

Только вот другие люди иногда нарушают стройное течение наших планов. Ведь мы не живем в изоляции, и регулярно должны общаться с другими представителями рода человеческого. С одними это достаточно просто сделать, а вот другие могут принести кучу проблем.

Как правило, нас тянет к людям, у которых похожая система ценностей, поведения и мнений – именно с ними мы чувствуем себя наиболее комфортно. Но надо не забывать и о тех, кто от нас отличается, чтобы иметь возможность вглянуть на все с разных точек зрения.

Чтобы понять, что приносят в вашу жизнь отношения, составьте список из 5 людей, с которыми вы прекрасно ладите. А теперь ответьте на следующие вопросы:

  • Что общего у вас с этими людьми?
  • Какие ценности вы разделяете с этими людьми?
  • Какие убеждения вы разделяете с этими людьми?
  • Что вам нравится делать вместе?
  • Как вы себя чувствуете вместе с ними?

В жизни также есть люди, с которыми вы бы с радостью не общались, но, увы, приходится. Иногда это бывает даже с членами семьи и может восприниматься очень болезненно. Такие отношения могут тянуть из вас силы и энергию. Именно поэтому стоит стремиться к тому, чтобы больше общаться с людьми, которые подпитывают вас энергией и ограничивать общение с теми, кто вас истощает.

Теперь пишем имена пятерых людей, с которыми вам сложно найти общий язык. Посмотрите на предыдущие вопросы и подумайте о том, что отличает вас от людей из этого списка. В чем именно вы разные? Что вас больше всего напрягает. А потом попытайтесь найти в них что-то положительное. Возможно, у вас все-таки найдется что-то общее?

Очень полезно время от времени анализировать свои отношения с разными людьми, чтобы четко представлять себе, что они вам дают и зачем они вообще вам нужны. Может, какие-то из них вы поддерживаете чисто “для галочки” и можно их без малейшего ущерба прекратить? А может, достаточно просто пойти на компромисс, чтобы все наладилось?

Собственно, этим все советы и исчерпываются, на протяжении дальнейших десяти страниц они лишь детализируются и подкрепляются примерами.

К рекомендациям этой главы у меня смешанные чувства – с одной стороны, опять кэп, а с другой – ведь реально же тратится куча времени на отношения, не делающие нас счастливыми. И если отношения регулярно не оценивать, и не работать над ними, то последствия могут быть грустными.

Осталась еще глава по восхвалению той новой личности, которой должен был стать читатель после освоения книги. Думаю, я присовокуплю к ней и свои рефлексии, и на этом с талмудом будет покончено :)

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