Хотеть и делать

Несколько лет назад я плакалась другу о перипетиях своих отношений с тогдашним бойфрендом (на тот момент мы встречались уже лет шесть, и это было печально-печально-печально). Я жаловалась, что бойфренд не готов к тому, не готов к этому, и выстраивала на этом целые пирамиды обоснований и теорий, которые призваны были объяснить мне все, и успокоить, что ничего страшного не происходит. В общем, занималась самовнушением. Друг мне тогда сказал простую вещь: он не делает, потому что не хочет. Его и так все устраивает. Хотел бы – делал.
Хотя друг тогда и был абсолютно прав, я периодически все равно возвращаюсь к тезису “если хочет – делает”. С одой стороны, он правильный и логичный. Есть у человека мотивация он действует, нет мотивации – не действует. Это распространяется как на отношения с другими людьми, так и на отношения с самим собой. Если я действительно хочу что-то поменять в своей жизни, я буду шевелиться.
С другой стороны, я так часто сталкиваюсь с примерами, когда внутренние преграды оказываются сильнее желания. Страхи, влияние других, надуманные препятствия активно удерживают человека от изменений. Кто-то преодолевает их самостоятельно, кому-то помогает специалист (ко мне часто обращаются клиенты с подобными запросами), ну а кто-то так и остается при своем.
И вот мне интересно: те, кто остается при своем – действительно не хотят? Или им просто нужна помощь и поддержка в осознавании и осуществлении своих желаний? Гуру от мотивации, наверное, скажут, что не хотят – и не надо. Я и сама так иногда говорю, когда вижу, что мирные методы не помогают.
Что думаете про верность тезиса “хотел бы – делал”?

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