Выбор

Прочитала сегодня книгу Дорис Лессинг “Пятый ребенок”, осталась под впечатлением (автор – нобелевский лауреат, так что впечатление было практически гарантировано). Теперь много думаю.

Вкратце сюжет таков: в Лондоне времен расцвета сексуальной революции встречаются два традиционно настроенных человека, которые хотят большую семью. Они быстренько покупают огромный дом и приступают к реализации желаемого при пассивном сопротивлении старшего поколения. Впрочем, все понимают, что спорить бесполезно и начинают помогать, чем могут – отец парня выплачивает кредит за дом, а мать девушки переезжает к ним, чтобы помогать с детьми и по хозяйству (напоминаю, что в Британии это не очень принятая форма помощи от родителей). В общем, первые годы все хорошо, у пары за шесть лет рождается четверо очаровательных детей, их дом – квинтэссенция уюта и семейного счастья, на Рождество, Пасху и летние каникулы толпами съезжаются родственники, которым безумно нравится атмосфера.

И тут на горизонте нарисовывается пятый ребенок. Он доставляет матери кучу неприятностей еще во время беременности, а уж после рождения в семье начинается ад. Судя по всему, у мальчика какая-то форма умственной отсталости, он не способен толком усваивать информацию, не испытывает эмоций, очень силен и агрессивен. После того, как от его руки погибают домашние животные и прочих не очень приятных инцидентов о семейном тепле говорить и не приходится, остальные дети откровенно его боятся плюс ревнуют, что внимание родителей теперь сосредоточено на младшем, родственники перестают приезжать, потому что боятся за себя и детей.

Какое-то время семья живет так, потом их начинают убеждать, что лучший выход из положения – отдать ребенка в спецучреждение, и в отчаянии родители соглашаются. Все снова живут счастливо, в мире и гармонии, пока в один прекрасный момент мать не приезжает навестить сына. Оказывается, он находится в интернате для детей с умственными и физическими пороками, где их просто обездвиживают и колют очень сильные успокаивающие препараты, отчего дети через некоторое время умирают (на этом месте я все думала, что сейчас, надеюсь, психиатрия уже шагнула вперед и таких детей умеют хоть как-то социализировать). Мать приходит в ужас от увиденного и забирает ребенка домой, что приводит к фактическому распаду семьи (дети по своей воле разъезжаются сначала по школам-пансионам и по родственникам, а потом и начинают свои собственные жизни), с мужем отношения тоже теряют былую теплоту и любовь.

Подтекстом там идет молчаливое неодобрение всех родных и близких – ради одного ребенка, от которого только несчастья, разрушить счастье шестерых людей (и в меньшей степени еще не меньше десятка второстепенных персонажей).  И мать все время задается вопросом – правильно ли она сделала, что спасла ребенка от верной смерти, но при этом испортила жизнь всем, и себе в первую очередь, потеряв все, что ценила больше всего на свете.

И вот какой гуманизм тут применять? По каким критериям оценивать? Можно ли вообще оценивать? Не знаю.

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